Doug Ford has a vision for the waterfront including of all things a ferris wheel. While I was originally hopeful that Ford had envisioned something like London’s revitalized waterfront along the Thames (which also includes a ferris wheel) I realized he was thinking of something more like Chicago’s waterfront.
Now I can’t say much about Chicago having never been there, but the Globe & Mail reported that the Chicago waterfront see’s about 750,000 visitors a year. That seems a little low to me. Gay Pride gets a million visitors a year surely a permanent structure like a waterfront can perform better? If not, then perhaps we should consider a gay pride theme park. Gay have money – most of it disposable income. They have lots of time since they aren’t driving kids to soccer practice, or to school, or stuff like that.
And gays are good looking. Most of the people who visit theme parks are troglodytes, morbidly obese from downing deep-fried corn dogs and the like; so attractive gays will attract more attractive people. Where do you think this woman is eating her mouse shaped ice cream all coated in delicious chocolate? I don’t know but I sure as Hell don’t want to go.
Doug Ford also mentioned building a mall. YES! Gays like shopping! They got money. It would need to be high-end (no affliction shops please) but throw in a Home Depot and you’ve got the lesbo crowd too!
If we are going to redevelop the waterfront, let’s make sure it’s sustainable. Gay pride is 30 year young and going strong, so if you want to help Toronto write Doug Ford and tell him you support a gay theme park along Toronto’s waterfront.
Sidenote: I forgot to mention that if we did built a gay theme park we would be reviled and hated for being the most sinful place on earth but given how Toronto is already reviled and hated by the rest of Canada it should be no big deal.