And then I was 40… (Part 2: Medcan Clinic)

When I arrived at 7:30 in the morning, I hadn’t eaten or drunken anything for 12 hours.  This is because the lab work and abdominal ultrasound need to be done on an empty stomach.  I was greeted at the counter, my photo was taken and added to my file and I was given a clipboard with my itinerary.  I was shown to the change room and given a bottle to pee in.  The bottle gets dropped in a receptacle in the washroom where it is collected later and analyzed.  Once I changed into the gym clothes I was instructed to bring I was lead to a lounge.  Now from here the day varies.  Depending on how busy it is, the person required to do a specific test might already be with a patient and so it tends to get a little random.   The nice thing is you spend the whole time in your gym clothes so there is no need to change into a hospital gown or anything like that.

For me it started with the blood tests. I understand that normally the blood test and abdominal ultrasound come first so that you can eat and drink afterwards. In the chaos I had a few intermediate tests before I could eat.  After the blood test I was lead back to the lounge until the next person came to collect me.

A young woman, who’s name I forget, led me to a room which contained a “bodpod”, basically this thing measures your body composition.  She had me stand on a scale (212.8 lbs in case you’re curious) and then strip down to the spandex underwear I was wearing under my gym clothes.  This pod makes some strange noises when you’re in it and then after 90 seconds you’re done.  You get to find out your body fat percentage.  Mine is a whopping 31%.  22% is considered acceptable for a man of my age and height.

After that she led me back to the lounge where Dr. Bekeris came to get me.  He was my doctor for the day.  We started by talking in his office about my medical history and that of my family; diseases, causes of death, the background stuff used to determine what pathological risks there are.  He is a very congenial fellow and exactly the sort of doctor you want; very experienced, very knowledgeable and very patient.

From there we went into the exam room where he performed the physical.  It was pretty standard, checking reflexes, checking eyes, ears and throat – the standard stuff.  If you want to know what a men’s physical is check out this video, it is a lot longer than my physical took, but I suspect that is because many of these tests are redundant given the other testing that is done.

Now that I am 40 I got the digital rectal exam which was new, but really not a big deal.  I know a lot of guys get freaked out about it, but I am experienced with having things “go in” shall we say.  Basically you drop your shorts, roll onto your left side, pull your knees up and the physician inserts a lubricated finger into your rectum.  He checks the walls of the rectum and the prostate.  It takes all of 10 seconds, tops.

After that, I was lead back to the lounge.

Next I went for the eye exam.  This one did freak me out a little.  From what I had read online my vision would be blurry and light sensitive for a few hours.  I was a bit concerned about having a fitness test without being able to see!  Turned out it wasn’t as bad as I read.

First, the assistant checked my eye pressure by lightly touching this instrument to my eyeball.  It was a little freaky since I don’t normally touch my eyes.  I have friends with contacts who touch their eyes all the time *shudder*.  Then the Optometrist came and she checked my ability to read small print. Turns out my vision is better than 20/20.

She then put yellow drops in my eyes which stung, I have no idea what those were for, but the next drops didn’t feel like they did anything.  I was told to go wait in another lounge and they would come get me when my pupils had dilated.   The most disturbing part was after my pupils had dilated and they lead me back into the room, they took photos of my retinas…with a very bright flash!  Other than that it was painless though.  When I was led back to the lounge I wasn’t able to read anything though since my vision was totally blurred; especially my near vision.  I still couldn’t eat anything since I hadn’t had my abdominal ultrasound.

Luckily that came next.  The gal who did the ultrasound was a lovely little woman from Singapore.  She had me remove my shirt and lie down.  She then tucked some paper towel into my shorts to keep the ultrasonic gel off of them. The ultrasound is painless. There is some pressure as she was moving the tool around but it is almost like being in a Osaki OS 4000T massage chair.  The ultrasound tool felt a little warm, but that was about it.  After about 20 minutes she wiped the remaining gel off and led me back to the lounge.

Now I could finally eat!  I grabbed some fruit and yoghurt and a cup of coffee.  I was careful not to eat too much.  I could see from my itinerary I still had the fitness assessment and treadmill test to come.

Next came the mole mapping.  Another attendant came and collected me from the lounge and led me to a room on another floor. One thing I must say about Medcan is they have an awesome art collection.  Seriously I would love to just wander around the facility some day and look at the artwork.

The mole mapping is basically a semi-naked photo shoot.  You stand in various positions while hi-res photos are taken.  These photos then represent the baseline for your moles going forward.  Being someone who has had many severe sunburns over the year and a few mole biopsies as well, this is money well spent as far as I am concerned.  Later in December I will go back and meet with a dermatologist who will exam my moles and determine if any are suspect.

More to come…