And then I was 40… (Part 3: Medcan Clinic continued)

As always I returned to the lounge after the mole mapping.  This time the physician who came to get me took me to another office to discuss the Men’s Health Risk Assessment.  This was basically a discussion to see if I understood what was involved.  I said that I was aware; I had looked it up online.  He proceeded to explain how the male reproductive system worked.  I didn’t say anything, just nodded my understanding.  I didn’t see much point in explaining that there would be no reproduction as far as I was concerned.  I explained that I’d just turned 40 and I felt it was important to have a good baseline on all aspects of one’s health. There was also some paperwork that needed to be signed and then the Dr. told me that when I was ready I should let the clerk at the desk know.

I returned to the lounge and drank a couple of bottles of water, and another cup of coffee. (More on this later) I was then met by a cute nutritionist who took me to another office to discuss my eating habits.

I explained that I didn’t normally eat breakfast which I already knew was not good, I knew I drank too much coffee which was bad.  In fact there really wasn’t much when it came to nutrition I hadn’t already read.  What I think would have been more handy is coping strategies.  They must have to deal with busy execs that skip lunch or breakfast, what do those people do?  For example she did suggest making a peanut butter and banana sandwich the night before and having it in my bag to eat on the subway on the way into work.  As well as bringing in some grazing materials for while at my desk.  It was sound advice but not really earth-shattering. It was sort of like when the dentist tells you to floss more.  You already know that, what you need are better tools.

Anyway up next was the fitness test which totally sucked for me.   First was a stretching test behind the back.  With my shoulder messed up I did miserably at.  Next were these leg stretches which again I am terrible at.  I need to stretch more after cycling.  This was followed up by push-ups, which were a no-go with the shoulder (and weak arms) and then side planks.  I did okay on the one, but failed miserably on the left side.  I rocked the squats (no surprise) and was able to control my decent on the one legged squats but couldn’t get up again.

When I returned to the lounge I had another bottle of water and then was off to the 12 point EKG test on the treadmill.  Personally I had hoped to do a full VO2 max, but that is part of the full fitness test, not the EKG.

So the test starts by sticking 12 electrodes to your torso.  Because I am fairly hairy he had to shave parts of my chest (which look hilarious) and then using a small bit of sand-paper to exfoliate the skin sticks the electrodes on.  No it doesn’t hurt.  Then a reading was taken while I was just lying there.  Afterwards he helps you to the treadmill and the test starts at a walk. This progressively gets faster and steeper.   Each time the treadmill speeds up the attendant takes another blood pressure reading.  The EKG meanwhile is monitoring my heartrate.  They keep a TV in front of it showing a video of Paris, but to be honest I would have rather watched the computer monitor.

My target max heart rate was 180 and I hit 190 without too much difficulty.  I have hit as high as 196 before when we were figuring out training zones for turbo training but that was on a bike, not running.  My blood pressure was high but not scary high like it has been in the past so things are trending in the right direction.  By the time that was finished I was sweating!

This was followed by the hearing, eye and lung tests.  Now since I had signed up for the Optometry earlier in the morning we skipped the eye portion of the exam.  The lung test is to check for asthma, emphysema and things like that. You basically inhale and exhale through this machine.  The weird part is there is no resistance so I am not sure how it actually measures how much you exhale.

The hearing test is also fairly innocuous.  They put a set of headphones on you, put you in a sound-proof booth (not for the claustrophobic) and get you to push a button when you hear a tone.  They do one side first and then the next. I noticed a few things about the test.  First is that the tones are a particular pitch and then that pitch is repeated but softer until it is inaudible. One thing that bothered me is sometimes the tones were in time, so like a beat:  beep…beep…beep.  But a pattern develops in your brain so I wasn’t sure if I was hearing things, or imagining I hear them.  Anyway as expected my left ear had issues in the human speech range.

By this time I had to pee so it was time to go see the clerk. You see for the men’s health risk assessment you have a full bladder before you go in.  They do a trans-pelvic ultrasound to measure the bladder before and after you urinate to make sure it is working properly.   It is very similar to the abdominal ultrasound, you just hitch your shorts a little lower.  And this time when they press the ultrasound tool into your abdomen you feel like you have to pee, well cause you do.

After the first ultrasound they take you to a special washroom with an uroflow machine in it.  Basically you pee into a funnel which measures the rate at which you urinate.  This is because one of the common side effects of prostate cancer is an inability to urinate or a weak stream.

After you empty your bladder, you go back for the other trans-pelvic ultrasound. This one is much more comfortable to say the least.

Next is the trans-rectal ultrasound, the most awkward uncomfortable thing I experienced all day. And I have to say it wasn’t that bad.  First the attendant covers you with a large paper sheet, like you see them use in surgery, then just like the digital rectal exam, you lie on your left hand side and pull your knees up.

Next the attendant will put the head of the ultrasound wand against your sphincter and ask you to bear down. The wand is a tool about 10 inches long with a slightly bulbous head which is inserted up your rectum. What is uncomfortable about this, besides the obvious is that unlike the 10 second prostate check from the doctor, this goes on for seven to ten minutes while the attendant moves the wand around to get better images.  When finished, the attendant gently pulls out the wand, hands you some tissue and then leaves the room to let you wipe the lube out of your crack and pull your pants up. The attendant was very professional and amicable so we spent most of it just chatting despite the ridiculousness of the situation.  I’ll get the results of that in a couple of weeks.

With this out of the way I just had to meet with Dr. Bekeris to go over the results of the lab work and the other tests and get my flu shot.  There were only one or two surprises from the testing but what I really appreciated is that the doctor took the time to explain why they did each test, what it meant, how I did, and what the implications of that are.  He also explained what to look for in the future.  I didn’t really have any questions to ask him since this was already a lot of information to digest and considering the accident I already know what a lot of my health issues are at the moment.

So was it worth it?

All in all, I have to say “yes”.

Think of it this way, if you’re buying a house, you would pay to have it inspected right?  Well this is way more important than a house (and way more complicated).  As they say, “You don’t have anything, if you don’t have your health”.

Also the good news is things like the men’s health assessment and the optometry visit don’t need to be yearly unless I find I have an issue later on.  Those can be done every 5 years, so I get to save a little money next time.  I will probably keep the dermatology visits year just because I already know there is the potential to be an issue there. And given the poor performance in the fitness test, I am determined to do better at 41!