I’m gay and I would blame Doug Ford for avoiding Toronto’s Pride Parade

I’m gay and I would blame Doug Ford for avoiding Toronto’s Pride Parade

Josh Dehaas just wrote an op-ed piece in the National Post entitled, “I’m gay and I wouldn’t blame Doug Ford for avoiding Toronto’s Pride Parade.” In which he sadly denigrates the very community he claims to be from. I assume it’s probably to drum up populist readership.  What is apparent however, that he does not know his gay history, or why Pride is what it is. Pride is equal parts celebration, protest and community building. 

In the article he mentions “getting soaked by leather-clad men armed with water guns.” If it was by Hooters girls with water guns would that make it better?  Is the objection that it is leather clad men, or the getting wet part?  If it’s the leather clad men part then that is the very definition of homophobia.  If it is the getting wet part then, “harden the fuck up darling, you won’t melt.”

Mr. Dehaas also mentions BLMTO, and I have written about them before both in 2016 and 2017 and the hijacking of Pride.  What gay people need to remember is that the first pride was a riot. In fact, it was a riot lead by a drag queen of color, and a trans-gendered woman.  At Pride we celebrate the patrons of the Stonewall Inn, and that outrageous act of defiance (against police).  We celebrate those who said “enough is enough” and kicked off the gay rights movement. While I don’t agree with their politics per se, and I like their leaders even less, I do appreciate their right to protest. 

Dehaas goes on,

Some on the left have claimed Ford’s description of Pride as an event where “middle-aged men with pot bellies” run down the street “buck naked” was evidence of homophobia. I’d say that was just an accurate description of what goes on. Disturbingly, more and more parents are bringing young children to watch the parade, exposing them to provocative displays of sexuality that no child should witness. If a politician believes in family values, why would he or she want to be associated with such debauchery?

This paragraph is so messed up, it’s what made me write this response.  First off, Doug Ford is a middle aged man with a pot belly so if the sight of that offends him, he should probably see a therapist since he may be experiencing some self-loathing.

Secondly there is one group (TNT – Totally Naked Toronto) that runs down the street buck naked (and has done so for over a decade). If the sight of a penis is so horrifying, you wilt like a shrieking violet, then you probably shouldn’t come.

And as for the displays of sexuality well… there is nothing disturbing about human sexuality, including gay sexuality, and I would rather kids be exposed to that than the normalization of violence currently deemed okay.  Here is a group from 2016 marching in remembrance of the 49 gay people, killed in an Orlando night club because a homophobic mentally ill person got access to firearms. So what is more disturbing?  Being gay and enjoying sex or being massacred?

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And that term “family values” is code for white heterosexual bigotry.  I have a family, do I not embody family values?  What exactly are those values? This picture is my father, my sister and I at Pride the day before my wedding.  Can it get more “family values” than that? 

And where is this so called debauchery? With the marchers from PFLAG – the parents, families, friends & allies of lesbians and gays?  Or perhaps it is with the marchers from each of the banks which have so eagerly co-oped gay culture?

 

 

 

Mr. Dehaas also seems to criticize the gay community for being self-absorbed and not fighting for the rights of gays in Russia, Uganda and Iran.  That while there are groups in Toronto supporting these areas, they seem to be overshadowed.  Perhaps it’s because reporters keep boiling gay Pride down to debauchery by middle aged men with pot bellies who run around naked with water guns!

He goes on to criticize gay lobby for wanting their universal health care to cover PrEP, an HIV prophylactic. Noting that “Ontario, B.C. and Quebec have all started using precious health-care dollars to hand it out for free”  Imagine that, someone wanting their tax dollars to cover their health care!  My tax dollars pay for birth control, I can’t get pregnant.  They pay for inhalers, I don’t have asthma. I would recommend that he and anyone else who fails to understand the desire for protection watch the David Weissman documentary, “We Were Here”.  And his boiling down of this issue to “PrEP is nothing more than an aid to promiscuity” is besides the point.  So what if it is?   He is basically trying to slut-shame people for not wanting to catch a disease which decimated our community!

If Josh Dehaas thinks that Doug Ford supports gay rights because he didn’t announce he was going to stop gay marriage like trying to fire the CEO of Hydro One, then Josh is sadly mistaken. Tanya Granic Allen was ousted for being a bigot against Muslims, not because of what she said about gays.   The Muslim community would happily vote for Ford as long as he changed the sex-ed curriculum to support their views of sexuality (meaning no mention of gays).  Which is why he stepped so carefully around social conservatism, and didn’t allow a press train to follow him.   Ford has accepted endorsements from pastors with a history of promoting homophobia, and his own brother was awful to gays as a mayor and councilor. While it may not be fair to judge Doug by his brother’s actions. I have a hard time believing these apples fell far from the tree.  

As Mr. Dehaas points out, we have gay marriage, but that is not equality. It’s not even close.

Without Pride, it’s just a parade.

 

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