Toronto’s stupid lousy election

I’m having a tough time this year picking who I will vote for in the next election. All of the candidates suck. I mean really suck. Toronto’s biggest issue isn’t being elitists, or being hated by the rest of the country, it’s biggest issue is a lack of vision from our supposed leaders

Rocco Rossi is out, I simply cannot vote for someone named “Rocco”. It’s not an anti-Italian thing, I like Italians, I just don’t like the name “Rocco”. That and his big idea for the city is to have a suggestion box…no I’m not kidding, stop laughing. Oh, that and an eight kilometre expressway under the city. Ya, that’ll be cheap.

Sarah Thomson (who?) recipient of a glowing recommendation by none other than former inmate Conrad Black is running. But she’s not important enough, loud enough, or smart enough to get my attention. Perhaps I couldn’t hear her over “Rocco’s” stunning ideas.  I have no idea what her platform is, where she stands and I work for a freakin’ news agency.  Seriously if she does as poor of a job as mayor as she has getting her message out we’re all screwed.

Joe Pantalone is basically a shorter version of David Miller who’s he’s never met a special interest group he didn’t like.  Especially special interests like unions. If elected I predict he will drag this city into a socialist Hell that will make Prypiat look good in comparison. I’ll start looking for property outside Toronto if that happens.

George Smitherman is running and as a fellow friend of Dorothy’s would be the most likely candidate except for that damn e-health scandal.  I mean seriously how hard can it possibly be to put out a couple of RFP’s? That sort of lack of judgement is hard for me to forgive.  He’s figured out the “waste bad, transit good” mantra but I fear it will be too late.

And last but not least is Rob Ford. Ford is loud, brash, obese and just a little racist.  In fact he reminds me of Archie Bunker mixed with Rush Limbaugh. He hates gay and cyclists (ahem, not good for yours truly)

During a council debate on public-health grants for community-based AIDS-prevention programs, Mr. Ford says: “If you’re not doing needles and you’re not gay, you won’t get AIDS, probably.

“What I compare bike lanes to is swimming with the sharks. Sooner or later, you’re going to get bitten. And every year we have dozens of people that get hit by cars or trucks. Well, no wonder. Roads are built for buses, cars and trucks. Not for people on bikes. And my heart bleeds for them when I hear someone gets killed, but it’s their own fault at the end of the day.”

The quotes go on and on….

but he’s good with his constituent’s money, willing to trim the waste from city hall and ready to take on the unions.  He might be a bit of buffoon and the Sarah Palin of this election but by God I think he might win it.

So all in all it  is a matter of choosing not who will do the most good, but who do I think will do the least harm, to both myself and the city.   Where’s our Hazel McCallion, Toronto?